I Want to Be a Child

I love it when there's a scripture I've read or heard hundreds of times, but all the sudden in one reading it says something new to me. Today is was Matthew 10:15-16

"Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.

When the world becomes too stressful, or actually, I've stressed myself out depending on the world for fulfillment rather than God, I would love to have Jesus take me in His glorious, protective, strong arms, bless me and lay His hands on me. Just the thought of it sends a wave of peace through me.

Like a child, I keep making the same mistakes. I keep wanting life to be all about me and filling my wants. Like a child, I keep coming to God with my eyes cast to the ground because I screwed up again. And as the Loving Father, God brushes the dirt of my skinned knees, wipes away my tears, admonishes me for my foolishness. The difference is that He doesn't send me away on my own; He always walks beside me.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits. ... For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him.

Psalm 103:2 & 11

Yes, I'm Unworthy. Now What?

Jesus left us with a gift: the Holy Spirit. And this gift helps us be the better person God wants us to be.

"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you." John 14:26

So daily I ask the Holy Spirit to be with me, guide me throughout the day. Because I know that if left to my own strength and knowledge, I will fall into the same sins, the same idol worship.

No one can fight off the idol worship without the Lord's help. Transformation, deliverance, comes only from the Lord.

"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18

So after months of thinking myself a failure because I can't change my heart' I still can't give up that idol worship no matter how hard I try. I realize I've failed because I've been trying to do this on my own. I'm fighting a power, Satan, who is stronger than me. But I have an advocate who is stronger than any demon. He is the Creator of all. He can move the mountains. He can change my heart and remind me to turn from the idol, as long as I listen to Him. See, we still have that free will thing so WE still need to make the right decisions. But He'll be that voice that convicts you before you act. Will you listen to it?

And I pray...

"The Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the hearts of your descendants so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul." Deuteronomy 30:6

Lord, please circumcise my heart and the hearts of my family. Remove the idol worship and habits to sin. Help us hear your voice and feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit. And give us the strength to make the right choices. Please keep Satan and his poisonous arrows from our hearts and minds. I long to love you with ALL of my heart and soul. Through your mighty Son, Jesus, I pray. Amen.

Why Would God Want a Failure Like Me

I'm a big screw up. I've made a mess of my life because I let false idols get in my way. And now there's this one idol I just can't shake. It makes me selfish, doubtful, and depressed. I keep telling myself to let it go, lay it at Jesus's feet, but I keep carrying it around. So why would Jesus bestow mercy on me? Why does He even bother with me?

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead" Philipians 3:13

This line is so significant when you understand where Paul was coming from. What was behind Paul? Only the persecution of early Christians. As Saul, Paul was as evil as Hitler. He brutally murdered people because of their religious beliefs. Yet today, I quote Paul's writing out of the Bible. God developed Saul/Paul into a Bible hero and writer.

Nothing in my past is as bad as Paul's past. So if Paul is able to forget what lies behind and strain forward to what lies ahead, why can't I?

"I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14.

I press on, looking constantly forward and forgiving myself for the past. God's already forgiven me because I've admitted my sin, confessed it and am daily trying to turn from it, with the strength of the Lord on my side. Jesus paid for the sin. Now I have just got to move beyond and towards the goal that the Lord has set for me.

Thank you God, for forgiving my sins. Thank you for Your Word that reminds me I'm forgiven. Thank you for Paul and the example he is for me of the greatness us sinners can achieve when we have faith in You. Please bestow your mercies on me today and fill me with your grace as I move forward. Amen.