Why Would God Want a Failure Like Me

I'm a big screw up. I've made a mess of my life because I let false idols get in my way. And now there's this one idol I just can't shake. It makes me selfish, doubtful, and depressed. I keep telling myself to let it go, lay it at Jesus's feet, but I keep carrying it around. So why would Jesus bestow mercy on me? Why does He even bother with me?

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead" Philipians 3:13

This line is so significant when you understand where Paul was coming from. What was behind Paul? Only the persecution of early Christians. As Saul, Paul was as evil as Hitler. He brutally murdered people because of their religious beliefs. Yet today, I quote Paul's writing out of the Bible. God developed Saul/Paul into a Bible hero and writer.

Nothing in my past is as bad as Paul's past. So if Paul is able to forget what lies behind and strain forward to what lies ahead, why can't I?

"I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14.

I press on, looking constantly forward and forgiving myself for the past. God's already forgiven me because I've admitted my sin, confessed it and am daily trying to turn from it, with the strength of the Lord on my side. Jesus paid for the sin. Now I have just got to move beyond and towards the goal that the Lord has set for me.

Thank you God, for forgiving my sins. Thank you for Your Word that reminds me I'm forgiven. Thank you for Paul and the example he is for me of the greatness us sinners can achieve when we have faith in You. Please bestow your mercies on me today and fill me with your grace as I move forward. Amen.

Choose Wisely

As I continue to struggle with keeping my priorities straight and my resolutions going, I'm constantly arguing with myself -- angel on one shoulder, devil on the other! Tonight the angel wins!

Dear Lord,

Daily You set before me choices for blessing or curse and true life or slow death of my soul. Please give me the willpower, knowledge and strength to make the right choices. I want to hear and obey Your voice and hold fast to You, for I understand that it is through You I have true life.

Life without You is a struggle and impossible. So I offer my anxieties to you in prayer and with thanksgiving for all You have given to me.

Thank you for encouraging the scripture reading that has brought me into a more loving relationship with You. It is only through learning more about You, I have increased my love for You.

Through Jesus Christ I offer my prayer. Amen.


Two verses influence this prayer:

Deuteronomy 30:19-20...

I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days, that you may dwell in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Issac, and to Jacob, to give them.


Philippians 4:6

Don't be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

When in Doubt

During Greg Laurie's lecture on temptation, he listed some verses that he repeats to himself when negativity enters his mind about what he is doing. He didn't give the books or verses that he was quoting, just the words. I looked them up on http://www.biblegateway.com/ and I believe these are the verses he was referring to:

"The Lord is my light and my salvation -- whom shall I fear? The Lord is my life -- of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

Anxiety Attack

Several days back, when I listed some of my favorite verses that get me through my most anxious moments, I somehow forgot my absolute favorite. But, while looking for it, I found another verse that I added to my verses journal.

The one I added was:

"Don't be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Philippians 4:6

Now the long verse I calm myself down with, when I get anxious, comes from Matthew 6. I don't have it all memorized, I just recall it's meaning or find it in my journal.

(25) For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what will you drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? (26) Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? (27) And who of you can add a single hour to his life?
...
(32) For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. (33) But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
(34) So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Now, I understand that this does not give me free reign to sit around and play video games, instead of working, cause God will take care of it. There is that condition in the verse about "seek first His kingdom" which isn't done by being a couch potato. It's a purposeful action on my part and is why I read the Bible, read daily meditations, pray often, attend a church, etc. I'm seeking His kingdom and righteousness.

I pray that this helps someone out there who is overly anxious and desperate about the future. I know the desperation that anxiety can bring... been there, done that, still go through it occasionally. May all of us afflicted with this desperation feel the Holy Spirit guiding us to more positive actions that lead us seeking down the right path.

God Bless and Happy New Year!

Encouragement to Get Through the Depression

As I struggle with my own personal problems that drag me into depression, I turn to the Bible and other Christian writing for the words that remind me to have faith in God.

For those of you going through struggles and finding yourself crying through the scary world, here are some verses in which I find reassurance:

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13

"For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies." Psalm 57:10

"He sends from heavens & saves me..." Psalm 57:3

"in God I trust: I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Psalm 56:11

"... Everything is possible for him who believes." Mark 9:23

"Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens & earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you." Jeremiah 32:17

"I will praise you, O Lord. Although you were angry with me, your anger has turned away and you have comforted me. Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation." Isaiah 12:1-2

"If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you." John 15:7

"Yet this I call to mind and therefor I have hope. Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail." Lamentations 3:21-22.

"You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." James 4:2-3

"God has come to help his people." Luke 7:16

I hope one of these verses helps you. I hope even more that one of these verses encourages you to open a Bible and find more verses of encouragement. They are in there. Just ask the Lord to show them to you.

May God bless everyone who is depressed this holiday season.

If you need to find a verse to help you, please contact me. My goal is to share scripture.